class rage speaks: Nine ways to be a good friend in the face of economic differences.
A companion to this post.
Note: There is certainly another whole category of suggestions like this which would focus on large-scale ways of creating social change. I don’t discount the importance of those, but this list is focusing on the small, everyday ways that an economically privileged person who is friends with a poor person can help to make that relationship possible and comfortable- something that I’ve struggled with personally a great deal, because most of my friends and my partner are considerably wealthier than I am. Those larger ideas, the things that really challenge how this society works, also have to be part of that conversation, but in the meantime, we still have to live together and interact. Here are some things that have been particularly important to me.
- Spend a substantial amount of time thinking, really thinking, about all the different ways in which being wealthy and/or coming from a wealthy background benefits you. Learn about and acknowledge your privilege. Listen to poor people; take in the breadth of what they don’t have. Recognize the secondary effects of growing up wealthy- educated relatives and good schools that guided you to good colleges, or the ability to travel and seek new experiences for their own sake, or maybe just a lack of fear and worry that allows you to live your life more peacefully. And for goodness sake, think about how you sound when you complain about very minor money woes (your parents won’t buy you X luxury item! horrors!) in front of someone who is struggling just to get by. Understand where you really stand.
- Be self-critical and question the stereotypes you hold of poor people. These stereotypes are so pervasive that if you think you’re free of them, you’re probably mistaken. (Even I struggle with internalized classism and self-hate.)
December 2011
130 posts
November 2011
34 posts
important tidbits from the article:
In the 1980s, Crenshaw was trying to understand why US anti-discrimination law was failing to protect Black women in the workplace, and she discovered it was because the law distinguished between two kinds of discrimination: gendered discrimination and racialized discrimination.
That is, US law distinguished between discrimination against women (on the basis of their gender) and discrimination against Black, Latino, Asian, and Indigenous people (on the basis of their race).
But in her study of discrimination in workplaces, Crenshaw observed that Black women were discriminated against on both bases – their gender and their race – at once.
So, for example, Black women were the last group to be hired at a workplace she studied – after white women and Black men. When the boss decided to lay people off, Black women were fired because they were the least senior – the last to arrive. But that they were hired last was itself due to discrimination. This group of Black women took the company to court and the judge said, “there’s no gender discrimination here because white women weren’t fired. And there’s no race discrimination here because Black men weren’t fired.”
So, Crenshaw concluded that discrimination against Black women in the workplace – as Black women – was invisible to legal concepts of discrimination that saw it in terms of “gender” only or in terms of “race” only. Black women’s experiences of discrimination were rendered invisible by these ways of categorizing discriminatory practices.
some definitions we should all know
Racism is not just about color. I repeat. Racism is not just about color. When we tell these clueless folks on Tumblr that racism is prejudice + power, we should break down that power into easy-to-comprehend nuggets for…
The Clitoris: Most. Awkward. Discussion. Ever! | SociologyFocus (via linzyxxxxx)
We also have a PIV (penis-in-vagina) centric society when it comes to any discussions of sex. That is, that women need penises to have orgasms, and that most women who have PIV sex experience orgasms, which is simply untrue.
(via fromonesurvivortoanother)
WOMANIST (As coined and defined by Alice Walker from ‘In Search of Our Mothers’ Gardens: Womanist Prose’ Copyright 1983.)
1. From womanish. (Opp. of “girlish,” i.e. frivolous, irresponsible, not serious.) A black feminist or feminist of color. From the black folk expression of mothers to female children, “you acting womanish,” i.e., like a woman. Usually referring to outrageous, audacious, courageous or willful behavior. Wanting to know more and in greater depth than is considered “good” for one. Interested in grown up doings. Acting grown up. Being grown up. Interchangeable with another black folk expression: “You trying to be grown.” Responsible. In charge. Serious.
2. Also: A woman who loves other women, sexually and/or nonsexually. Appreciates and prefers women’s culture, women’s emotional flexibility (values tears as natural counterbalance of laughter), and women’s strength. Sometimes loves individual men, sexually and/or nonsexually. Committed to survival and wholeness of entire people, male andfemale. Not a separatist, except periodically, for health. Traditionally a universalist, as in: “Mama, why are we brown, pink, and yellow, and our cousins are white, beige and black?” Ans. “Well, you know the colored race is just like a flower garden, with every color flower represented.” Traditionally capable, as in: “Mama, I’m walking to Canada and I’m taking you and a bunch of other slaves with me.” Reply: “It wouldn’t be the first time.”
3. Loves music. Loves dance. Loves the moon. Loves the Spirit. Loves love and food and roundness. Loves struggle. Loves the Folk. Loves herself. Regardless.
4. Womanist is to feminist as purple is to lavender.
” —Alice Walker’s definition of “Womanist” from In Search of Our Mothers’ Gardens: Womanist Prose copyright 1983.
SUPPORT the completion of: ALICE WALKER: BEAUTY IN TRUTH
(via afrolez)
also check out this great piece that was linked to in the article - The Journalism Bingo Card
Are you writing an article that profiles or even tangentially involves a disabled person? Make it easy on yourself: string together these words and phrases with a few voyeuristic references to the person’s body parts, and call it a day!
From “How I Learned to Talk (In Bed): Why This Queer Woman Cares About Consent” via Autostraddle.
I like it when consent is talked about for everyone.
(via privligedngoodlooking)
The absence of a “no” is not the same thing as a ”yes.”
(via ethiopienne)
Tiger Beatdown (via pnasty)
This is so relevant to everything.
(via mindyshabibti)
THIS THIS THIS.
This is what rape culture looks like.
(via silverqueen)
Another reason why some women don’t smile while out in the streets. Defensive Tactics. #rapeculture
(via notesonascandal)
The most well-funded organizations in the gay and lesbian movement do not provide direct legal services to low-income people, but instead focus their resources on high-profile impact litigation cases and policy efforts. Most of these efforts have traditionally focused on concerns central to the lives of nonpoor lesbian and gay people and have ignored the most pressing issues in the lives of poor people, people of color, and transgender people.
The “gay agenda” has been about passing our apartments to each other when we die, not about increasing affordable housing or opposing illegal eviction. It has been about getting our partnerships recognized so our partners can share our private health benefits, not about defending Medicaid rights or demanding universal health care. It has been about getting our young sons into Boy Scouts, not about advocating for the countless/uncounted queer and trans youth struggling against a growing industry of youth incarceration. It has been about working to put more punishment power in the hands of an overtly racist criminal system with passage of hate crimes laws, not about opposing the mass incarceration of a generation of men of color, or fighting the abuse of queer and trans people in adult and juvenile justice settings.
” —-Dean Spade: Compliance is Gendered (via delisubthefemmecub)
bingo. fucking bingo.
(via sexgenderbody)
If we teach women that there are only certain ways they may acceptably behave, we should not be surprised when they behave in those ways.
And we should not be surprised when they behave these ways during attempted or completed rapes.
Women who are taught not to speak up too loudly or too forcefully or too adamantly or too demandingly are not going to shout “NO” at the top of their goddamn lungs just because some guy is getting uncomfortably close.
Women who are taught not to keep arguing are not going to keep saying “NO.”
Women who are taught that their needs and desires are not to be trusted, are fickle and wrong and are not to be interpreted by the woman herself, are not going to know how to argue with “but you liked kissing, I just thought…”
Women who are taught that physical confrontations make them look crazy will not start hitting, kicking, and screaming until it’s too late, if they do at all.
Women who are taught that a display of their emotional state will have them labeled hysterical and crazy (which is how their perception of events will be discounted) will not be willing to run from a room disheveled and screaming and crying.
Women who are taught that certain established boundaries are frowned upon as too rigid and unnecessary are going to find themselves in situations that move further faster before they realize that their first impression was right, and they are in a dangerous room with a dangerous person.
Women who are taught that refusing to flirt back results in an immediately hostile environment will continue to unwillingly and unhappily flirt with somebody who is invading their space and giving them creep alerts.
People wonder why women don’t “fight back,” but they don’t wonder about it when women back down in arguments, are interrupted, purposefully lower and modulate their voices to express less emotion, make obvious signals that they are uninterested in conversation or being in closer physical proximity and are ignored. They don’t wonder about all those daily social interactions in which women are quieter, ignored, or invisible, because those social interactions seem normal. They seem normal to women, and they seem normal to men, because we were all raised in the same cultural pond, drinking the same Kool-Aid.
And then, all of a sudden, when women are raped, all these natural and invisible social interactions become evidence that the woman wasn’t truly raped. Because she didn’t fight back, or yell loudly, or run, or kick, or punch. She let him into her room when it was obvious what he wanted. She flirted with him, she kissed him. She stopped saying no, after a while.
” —Harriet J on Another post about rape (via archenemies)
Oh my god, this. All of this.
(via one-bite-at-a-time)
Meanwhile the real reason that you shouldn’t punish Bob for queerness is because there’s nothing wrong with it!” —Social Justice League - Fauxgress Watch: Born This Way. (via anotherlgbttumblr)
thelacydisease (via radicalqueery)
so on point!!! Whenever we introduce ourselves, or take roll in class, or any other situation like this, why dont we ask for people’s names and their preferred gender pronouns?
(via thatneedstogo)
I attended a workshop last week on Race and Disability. It was great to be in a room with other POC with disabilities and having an open dialogue about our experiences. I was able to snatch the below info that was a handout given to the white allies in a separate room addressing their privilege (as white folks) and oppression (as disabled folks). The page lists Beyond Diversity Resource Center as the author.
I’d like to get some feed back and maybe folks can reblog and add on some things they feel are missing. I understand that as a POC it is not my responsibility to educate folks on this, but I felt this was really valid and I couldn’t find it online, so where white folks are failing to educate themselves, I have no personal problems stepping up and doing this small deed. I also think that while this is directed at white people, there are definitely some points that I felt I could do/ do better. I also think that there are some movements that could really benefit from reading and following this that may not be about race on the surface but are dominated by white people (I’m looking at you feminism).
- Identifies and speaks out about acts of racism.
- Operates with others as a buffer against racism, but does not act condescendingly.
- Recognizes when remaining silent or being neutral operates as racial privilege.
- Is responsible for self-education about privilege, racism, and oppression; does not expect people of color to always teach him or her.
- Cultivates genuine relationships with people of color that are mutually beneficial.
- Is not arrogant about being an ally.
- Struggles continually with understanding and addressing aspects of their own racial privilege.
- Understands that the experiences of people of color regarding racism is genuine.
- Does not require people of color to prove the truth of their racial experiences or injuries.
- Acts in solidarity with people of color without supplanting them.
- Does not expect recognition or gratitude.
- Addresses racism because it is personally offensive.
- Is motivated by a quest for justice, rather than a sense of guilt.
- Is open to challenge.
- Opposes racism without conditions.
- Accepts that making mistakes is part of becoming an effective ally.
- Acknowledges and learns from his or her mistakes without retreating.
- Participants respectfully with persons of color and avoids cultural tourism.
- Responds to racist statements even when a person of color is not present or does not object.
- Is committed to social justice and to ending all forms of oppression.
—Melissa McEwan (via Shakesville)
I WANT TO WRITE THIS EVERYWHERE AND TELL IT TO EVERYONE.
(via provocatoria)
I lovve that woman!! this sums up why that occupy movement is bullshit.. so many white males .. i will say it again white male should not be allowed to occupy anything ever again .. the got us in this mess they will not take us out of it ..
(via freshmouthgoddess)
Avoid phrases like “the opposite sex” or “both genders.” This goes for any classroom setting, and is a pretty useful rule for speech and writing in general. Constructions like these reinforce a binary understanding of gender by setting external limits on the field of gender (“both” implying that there are no genders beyond these two) and by setting up male and female as irreconcilably different, oppositional entities. Phrases like “all genders” are just as simple to use and incorporate rather than invisibilize genders beyond the binary.
